Million dollar buttocks

OK, Suns faithful -- we've lost two in a row now and our record stands at 1-3. So what? Now, how often have the Suns had a strong start to a season? That's right. The Clippers are a premier team in the West and they literally molested us in Staples Center. The Suns are still trying to figure out a number of things - substitutions, lineups to use, the new Amare, the fat Diaw and so on.
That's it! I'm done trying to sound all reassured about this team.

By now, everyone must have noticed the marked Steatopygia in Diaw. Who stuffed his 45 million dollars in his derriere? Or is it 45M worth of croissants and donuts? Somebody needs to get on his ass and stop him before his badonkadonk becomes a distraction.

Memo to Donut Diaw
In light of your newly enlarged gluteus maximus, we would like to bring to your notice the fact that the spot of 'fat ass' in the frontcourt has already been taken by Kurt Thomas. Further, considering that our hitherto dominant Amare is playing like a pussy (thanks to a few holes drilled in his knees), we request that you work your posterior back into shape or Coach D'Antoni will have to resort to scare-tactics like starting three 6 footers, further disgracing this ball club.

Memo to Kurt Thomas
In light of Diaw's enlarged rear quarter, we would like to warn you that there is renewed interest and hence competition for the starting 'fat ass' position. We would also like to remind you that though you stand 6'9" tall, you are required to get your leaden feet off the ground to collect rebounds as opposed to standing at the post and lapping up uncontested rebounds all the time. Also, please practice what is called in basketball parlance as dunking. Its a disgrace to have your shot blocked in the dying minutes of two games in a row.

Memo to Coach D'Antoni
Until we see any signs of an attempt by your team to play DEFENSE, you will be referred to as Antoni.
Please, PLEASE start running the pick and roll with Nash and Amare.

Memo to Amare
Quit playing like a wuss. If your current playing style continues, we will be forced to replace your 'Black Jesus' tattoo with the words 'Black Burke'.

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Nash gone nuts

yoo hoo! Here is the video of Nash getting super goofy while arguing an out of bounds call. This clip has only half of his performance but its good enough.



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Suns vs Clippers - Nice Comeback

Finally a win. I was tired of the string of preseason losses followed by the LA fiasco. It was time to play Suns basketball and the entire team showed up. Two-time MVP Steve Nash had a solid game, finishing with 20 pts, 11 assts.

The Clippers started the game off real quick, surging to a 10-3 lead. The Suns responded well to make a 6-0 run. It was nice to see some hustle after that slow-as-molasses showing against the Lakers. Amare checked in at 7:30 and proved to be the difference (who would have thought!). He got some early touches and converted on each of his first four shots in the Q. He started with two reverse layups, followed up with a banked jumper and closed the quarter with a turnaround jumper. The two reverse layups would've been monster slams two yrs back but who the hell cares, so long as he's scoring! I should add it was nice to see some soft touch from Black Jesus.

The Suns packed the paint making it tough for the Clippers to score inside and finished the quarter with a 24-20 lead. Kurt Thomas did a fairly decent job on Brand early on but IIRC, he did not jump once during the game (OK I was exaggerating, but show me some hops - you're a freakin' NBA baller!).

Super-Small Ball
D'Antoni had ridiculously some lineups in the game at times. At one point in the first quarter, he played a 3 guard lineup - Banks, Nash, Barbosa - along with Amare and Marion. Yes - Banks and Nash played together. I'd imagine it was to get Banks some time alongside Nash to let him see first-hand how the maestro runs the show. Banks had a pretty ordinary outing as a PG last night but scored efficiently finishing with 13 points on 4-6 shooting. Not bad, considering how he struggled in the preseason. Banks had only 1 assist in 15 mins on the floor but Barbosa made up for that with 4 assists. I guess, Barbosa just needs to be told he isn't the backup PG and he'll do a good job of dishing!

Kurt's night out
Kurt Thomas had a horrible night after the refs started to go after him for so much as breathing Brand's air. He got called for laying in a shot even as Brand almost fouled him. Just a few secs later, he got called again for grabbing a loose ball ahead of Brand. This time KT totally lost it and slammed the ball to the floor, getting called for a T. Can't blame him for that! He fouled out of the game in the 4th Q, having played just 12 mins in the game.
The bright side : We got out-rebounded just by eight, 44-52 in a game w/o much help from KT.

Nash's huge and goofy second half
Stevie had a monster second half, as he decided to take over the game. He had 17 pts and 8 assts in just the second half. Sometime in the 4th Q, the refs made an incorrect call as the ball went out of bounds through Brand's legs (brushing them on the way), as Marion and Brand battled for possession. In trying to remonstrate with the officials Nash did possibly the weirdest, goofiest of his career. The following account doesn't do justice to how outrageously funny his performance was:
Nash had this look like he was saying 'ooohhhhhhhhhhh' and pointing his hands in one direction, squatting like he's defending moving sideways all the while -- only he was doing this after the ball went out and was facing the sideline as he did this.
Even the commentators couldn't hold back their laughter as they played the clip over and over.

Marion goes berserk with his blocks
Marion played the second half like a mad man. He was excellent on defense and scored like he always does, finishing with 27/10. At the 10:30 mark in the 3rd Q, he blocked Kaveman Kaman (couldn't resist that, sorry) two times successively as Kaman tried in vain to make his shot. The defensive work from Marion was easily the second biggest highlight of the night, coming a close second to Nash's theatrics.

Brand contained (so to speak)
EB had scored 30+ points against the Suns in the past 9 games. Last night he was "contained" to to 28 points, thanks to some decent defense.

Positives from the game

• Banks had a decent shooting night
• James Jones finally connected on a 3 pointer
• We shot 52% from the field
• We held the Clips to 42% shooting
• We outscored the Clips in the paint (!) 48-30
• Won despite horrendous 3 pt shooting : 27%

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Suns beat Kings, Cassell caught gyrating, Kidd thinks ball is sticky

Allllright! The Suns steamrollered the Kings 111-94 in their pre-season meeting a few minutes back.

Game highlights

• Steve Nash - he's not the 2 time MVP for nothing. He had 6 assists in the first 9 mins of the game.
• Nash finished with a brilliant scoreline on 100% FG shooting.
• 27 mins 6-6 2-2 3-3 13 asts 2 stls 17 pts
• Suns scored just 10 points in 2nd quarter
• Suns then came back to score 43 points in the 3rd qtr
• Shawn Marion - 20 points, 8 rebs
• James Jones rediscovered some of his shooting touch, scoring 15 pts on 5-11 shooting and making 3-7 from 3 pt land
  

Highlights from the Clippers vs Lakers game

• Clippers won 91-90

• Reggie Miller, Cheryl Miller, Steve Kerr - 3 of the 4 who tested the new ball (Mark Jackson was the 4th) were at the game. So they were confronted about the lousy job they'd done of testing the ball.

• - Reggie and Steve both sidestepped the question by saying they only dribbled the ball a little and mainly shot it around for a brief while
• - Steve Kerr had a good suggestion though : there is a problem only when you're sweating, so take it easy and try not to break a sweat

• Sam Cassell was pulled aside by a referee for excessive hollering and warned. It was during a timeout, so the conversation was quite audible.

• ref to Sam Cassell : If we're talking like this, its OK. We won't tolerate it when you wave your hands or gyrate
  
• Steve Kerr and Reggie Miller gave the ref a tough time, joking about his use of the word 'gyration' in this context
  
• Cheryl Miller later spoke to Sam and asked him what he though of the word 'gyration', to which Sam replied

  "I've never heard of that word. I've lived in the East Coast and am in the West Coast now. I haven't heard that word, ever! Not in English..maybe its Russian or something"
  

I say, admit it Cassell : you're an ALIEN. That's why you've never heard that word!

• Seeing a jersey with the name Evans on the floor for the Lakers, Kaman probably deemed it safer to sit out preferring to save his family jewels. Poor chap is so traumatized by the Reggie Evans incident. It never gets old - watch it here. btw, the guy on the floor was Maurice Evans :)
  

Other news:

• How desperate are the Golden State Warriors to do well this season? Don Nelson has been promised $1 mil if GSW make the playoffs , $1 mil if they get to the conference semifinals , $0.5 mil if they get to the conference Finals , $1 mil if they get to the NBA Finals
  

Good luck with that, Warriors.

• Jason Kidd on the new ball:
• He complained that the new ball sticks to the rim.
  

• He even offered a conspiracy theory:

The NBA is probably trying to legalize knocking the ball off the rim, like in international basketball. The ball sticking to the rim will make that easier

• Bulls beat the Spurs 99-67!

• The Spurs scored just 8 points in the 3rd quarter

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