Memo to Scoop : stick to 'street', don't try 'funny'

Scoop Jackson - the jive talkin' homie from Page 2 is at it again, only this time he sounds less street, more stupid.

His lines appear in italics:

•They're record is a surprise, but …
Huh?
Grammar 101 for Scoop :
they're = they are
you say "their record", not "they are record"

•The Suns are not officially saying anything, but Steve's mythical powers didn't leave with his haircut.
Did you say mythical ? I appreciate you trying to be funny and tying in a joke about his new hairdo but what the hell are you trying to convey? You do know mythical means imaginary, right? anyone want to help me understand scoop-speak?
Actually, an anonymous commenter drove it into my bonehead that the word mythical here, means having qualities suitable to a myth and therefore is a correct usage.
D'oh! Sorry Scoop.

• Raja Bell and Leandro Barbosa are caught up; they think they are stars and have gotten as shot happy as John Starks. They have forgotten that on any other team in the NBA, they'd be All-Stars, but they aren't on any other team. They need reminders of who they really are.

hundred bucks to anyone who explains that second line to me. most nebulous!

•If you found Scoopie stupid so far, listen to this:
Basketball translation: the West's version of the Knicks … with a worse record.

damn! why you trippin' on my team man? Brother Scoop -- I feel ya' but I think you're reachin' here.

Bottom line to Scoop -- Borrow some analogies from Bill Simmons.....stupid as some of them are, at least they're (this is where you use 'they're') funny.

Isiah Thomas gone wild

I have received a few quotes for the proposed hit on Manu Flopinobili. Some of the respondents have offered to break Manu's beak for a lifetime of free food at Taco Bell. With Raja being a spokesman for Taco Bell, it shouldn't be too hard to arrange something.

In related 'ugly news' Isiah Thomas (IT) went at Bruce Bowen (BB) last night after the latter stuck his feet under Jamal Crawford (JC) even as he was landing after a jump shot. I was watching the game on MSG and the verbal exchange was along these lines:

IT to BB : Stop sticking your foot under my player.
IT to JC : Next time he does that, break his feet!

Poppovich to IT : Stop talking to my player..
IT retorts : Ask your player to stop sticking his foot under my players.

It turned ugly after this, as Poppo and Isiah spewed venom at each other (the side story to this being that Poppo is best friends with Larry Brown and was Best Man at his wedding). Thomas was ready to rumble as he was restrained by Asst Coach Herb Williams.

Both Isiah and Bruce Bowen were rightfully honored with technicals, but Poppovich got away scot free -- just like whiny ole' Timmy D almost always does. Isiah though went up to Poppovich at the end of the game and kissed and made up. I don't know why (because-I-freaking hate-Poppovich-and-don't-give-a-rat's-ass-about- IT) but I found it to be a nice gesture from Isiah.

Lets leave these geezers aside and look at what can be done to Bruce Bowen, the Foot Monster. Its one thing when a big-footed klutz like Shaq (maybe accidentally) undercuts someone (read RJ) but Bowen has done this for the second time in a week's span. He did the same to Stevie Franchise at the Garden last week, sending him out with a sprained ankle which he still hasn't recovered from. Stu Jackson reviewed the play but took no action.

With Manu's elbow-dig that injured Raja Bell's rib cartilage, that makes three attempts at injuring an opponent, two of which were successful -- all withing 2 weeks of play! Vince Carter and Ray Allen have already spoken out by Bowen's foot-sliding tendency and dirty play in general.

I know David Stern has this blog on his favorites, so let me talk directly to him:
Listen, you 4 foot-litigious-bitch -- go ahead, feed your Napoleon's complex by lording over these giants and changing the ball so it feels like your own...but if you turn a blind eye to these asSAssins, you're gonna regret it -- I'll make sure you do!

btw, accepting offers to break Bowen's foot now..