Memo to Scoop : stick to 'street', don't try 'funny'

Scoop Jackson - the jive talkin' homie from Page 2 is at it again, only this time he sounds less street, more stupid.

His lines appear in italics:

•They're record is a surprise, but …
Huh?
Grammar 101 for Scoop :
they're = they are
you say "their record", not "they are record"

•The Suns are not officially saying anything, but Steve's mythical powers didn't leave with his haircut.
Did you say mythical ? I appreciate you trying to be funny and tying in a joke about his new hairdo but what the hell are you trying to convey? You do know mythical means imaginary, right? anyone want to help me understand scoop-speak?
Actually, an anonymous commenter drove it into my bonehead that the word mythical here, means having qualities suitable to a myth and therefore is a correct usage.
D'oh! Sorry Scoop.

• Raja Bell and Leandro Barbosa are caught up; they think they are stars and have gotten as shot happy as John Starks. They have forgotten that on any other team in the NBA, they'd be All-Stars, but they aren't on any other team. They need reminders of who they really are.

hundred bucks to anyone who explains that second line to me. most nebulous!

•If you found Scoopie stupid so far, listen to this:
Basketball translation: the West's version of the Knicks … with a worse record.

damn! why you trippin' on my team man? Brother Scoop -- I feel ya' but I think you're reachin' here.

Bottom line to Scoop -- Borrow some analogies from Bill Simmons.....stupid as some of them are, at least they're (this is where you use 'they're') funny.