a Turk, a Dirk and a jerk

The Spurs are easily one of the more boring teams to watch in the league. In the unlikely event that there is a Spurs fan reading this, I also admit that your team is the best right now.
*grrrrr...*
But this guy Brent Barry and his quips are undeniably entertaining.

I've been wanting to write about this for a while but it kept slipping my mind. On Spurs' opening night, I watched a clip of Barry conducting a spoof talk show, along with Tony Parker. It was just a brief clip but was funny as hell. I did a quick search and found an account of the evening on MySA.com.

The highlights:

•Tim Duncan played a Crucian shaman, who, like the old Johnny Carson character, Carnac the Magnificent, could mysteriously guess the answer to a question in a sealed envelope.
Parker to Timmy: Hedo Turkoglu, Nowitzki and P.J. Carlesimo.
Timmy's reply : A Turk, a Dirk and a jerk?

•Bruce Bowen playing a floppy-haired cowboy lawyer for the law office of Bowen & Bowen. Bowen's character, patterned after the local Wayne Wright commercials, used the slogan, "I Will Defend You."
One of the testimonials for Bowen's firm was from a Ray A.: "I'll say this much — he's cheap."

•A slide show of Beno Udrih's training-camp trip to France. Every picture showed him sitting and, as Parker told the crowd, "doing nothing."261262

•A "Behind the Music" episode for grunge hero Fabricio Oberto. Manu Ginobili played Oberto's manager/butcher. Sean Elliott was a crazed, jerry-curled fan named Jermaine.

(Oberto and grunge? haha)
(Ginobili playing a butcher? how apt!)

A few other Brent Barry quotes come to mind:
•"I'd give my right hand to be ambidextrous"

•"I was going to wear a T-shirt that said 'White Men CAN Jump', but I didn't want to burst anyone's bubble." (after Barry won the slam dunk competition)

Combined with the fact that he kissed (eek!) David Stern, as Bill Walton would say "Barry is the funniest guy in the history of this great sport".

PS : Talking of Parker, did you guys know that Eva Longoria and Beyonce are going to star together in a movie as lesbian lovers?
woot!
I first read of this on benchrenaldo and thought it was a rumor. But Conan O'Brien mentioned it on his show tonight, so I guess this is for real. Now to work on getting that ugly image of Parker kissing Jay Z, out of my head. ugh!